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What if Green Eggs and Ham Was About Weed? -Glittr

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So I go to thinking in my head, what if you replaced all of the words green eggs and ham with just the word weed? It would be about teen struggles of peer pressure and being pressured into smoking. Here’s how this story could have turned out…

I am Sam

I am Sam
Sam I am

That Sam-I-am
That Sam-I-am!
I do not like
that Sam-I-am

Do you like
marijuana?

I do not like it,
Sam-I-am.
I do not like
marijuana.

Would you like it
Here or there?

I would not like it
here or there.
I would not like it
anywhere.
I do not like
marijuana.
I do not like it,
Sam-I-am

Would you like it
in a house?
Would you like it
with a mouse?

I do not like it
in a house.
I do not like it
with a mouse.
I do not like it
here or there.
I do not like it
anywhere.
I do not like marijuana.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Would you eat it
in a box?
Would you eat it
with a fox?

Not in a box.
Not with a fox.
Not in a house.
Not with a mouse.
I would not eat it here or there.
I would not eat it anywhere.
I would not eat marijuana.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Would you? Could you?
in a car?
Eat it! Eat it!
Here it is.

I would not ,
could not,
in a car

You may like it.
You will see.
You may like it
in a tree?
d not in a tree.
I would not, could not in a tree.
Not in a car! You let me be.

I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox
I do not like it in a house
I do mot like it with a mouse
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it anywhere.
I do not like marijuana.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

A train! A train!
A train! A train!
Could you, would you
on a train?

Not on a train! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! Sam! Let me be!
I would not, could not, in a box.
I could not, would not, with a fox.
I will not smoke it with a mouse
I will not smoke it in a house.
I will not smoke it here or there.
I will not smoke it anywhere.
I do not like it, Sam-I-am.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you, could you, in the dark?

I would not, could not,
in the dark.

Would you, could you,
in the rain?

I would not, could not, in the rain.
Not in the dark. Not on a train,
Not in a car, Not in a tree.
I do not like it, Sam, you see.
Not in a house. Not in a box.
Not with a mouse. Not with a fox.
I will not eat ot here or there.
I do not like it anywhere!

You do not like
marijuana?

I do not
like it,
Sam-I-am.

Could you, would you,
with a goat?

I would not,
could not.
with a goat!

Would you, could you,
on a boat?

I could not, would not, on a boat.
I will not, will not, with a goat.
I will not smoke it in the rain.
I will not smoke it on a train.
Not in the dark! Not in a tree!
Not in a car! You let me be!
I do not like it in a box.
I do not like it with a fox.
I will not smoke it in a house.
I do not like it with a mouse.
I do not like it here or there.
I do not like it ANYWHERE!

I do not like
marijuana!

I do not like it,
Sam-I-am.

You do not like it.
SO you say.
Try it! Try it!
And you may.
Try it and you may I say.

Sam!
If you will let me be,
I will try it.
You will see.

Say!
I like marijuana!
I do!! I like it, Sam-I-am!
And I would smoke it in a boat!
And I would smoke with a goat…
And I will smoke it in the rain.
And in the dark. And on a train.
And in a car. And in a tree.
It is so good so good you see!

So I will smoke it in a box.
And I will smoke it with a fox.
And I will smoke it in a house.
And I will smoke it with a mouse.
And I will smoke it here and there.
Say! I will smoke it ANYWHERE!

I do so like
marijuana!
Thank you!
Thank you,
Sam-I-am

Hope you liked it!

XOXO

Glittr

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Passing A Drug Test.

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Well guys, I am now employed at a Target near me, but I had to pass a drug test!! I know what your thinking…Jay, how in the fuckity would YOU OF ALL PEOPLE pass a drug test? Well its simple, at least 30 ml of an 11 year olds urine, and a small coffee from jack in the box. Both of these items are only about 3 bucks in total. All you do is collect the urine of your clean piss and shove it into a warm area. Mine of course was my underwear. Then, go through a jack in the box, or anywhere that has coffee and is close to your testing place. Hold the urine in the cup of coffee until you get to your lab. Remove the urine from the hot coffee and place it in your underwear. It should stay warm. Make sure you actually have to pee so if your nurse listens, you’re actualy peeing. Hope this helps you in your stoner endevors.

-Jay c:

P.S. I’m stoned in celebration.

Cross Joint Tutorial By Seth Rogan -Glittr

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This tutorial is from the bonus features on pineapple Express just fyi

XOXO

Glittr

Things I like to say

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So guys here’s another twitter trend! (I do a lot of those. Maybe twitter trend Thursdays? Huhh? Huhh? No? Okay.) so I have a very colorful array of phrases and words I love so deeply. Be it a cuss word or something innocent. Here’s just a small list of words and phrases I absolutely adore:

-Fuck that (shit is included in the end sometimes depending on the situation.)
-Biitch!
-What the fuck?!
-Well that’s just peachy
-Fuck you
-Awww shiit!
-That’s what he said
-That’s what she said (I got a dirty mind)
-Dude…What the hell!
-I apologize (instead of im sorry)
-Hehehe (really slowly like I just thought of something evil)
-holy mother of my aunt Hilda! (I say this but rarely. Holy shit usually wins)
-Ohh dear god. (not in a religious way like omg)
-That’s fucking stupid.
-Oh my god!

-Jay c:

P.S. What’s something you say alot? Let me know in the comments bellow! Also, here’s a few grumpy cat memes…just cause they are my favorite c:

How to Tell if He Likes You

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Okay so I’m going to teach you how to tell if the guy you like, likes you! 5 easy steps!

1. Check his body language
-A lot of guys will do small things like run their fingers through their hair, almost never turn their back towards you, and sometimes they will fiddle with their clothes (I.E. Straighten their sweater, tie their shoe, fix a watch, ECT.)

2.Eye contact
-He will most likely make a lot of eye contact. Try looking at him for 4 seconds, then look away. Wait a second then look back. If he is still looking at you, or his gaze intensified, then he most likely likes you. If he looked away quickly, he most likely doesn’t like you. Also make sure to check pupil dilation.

3. Touch!
– He could do little things like put his hand over yours when you’re laughing or brush his leg against yours and not move it. Try touching him in similar ways. If he tenses up or moves his hand, hes most likely not into you.

4. He’s into things that you are
-He happens to like the same music or movies, this shows that he’s trying to find some common ground between you guys. Be may even recommend some stuff to you.

5. Lastly, Watch his friends
-This can be the easiest wat to find out if he likes you. Guys will be guys and if his friends know he likes you, they will defiantly make fun of him!

-Jay c:

P.S. Any other sure tell ways to tell if a guy likes you? Or are you a guy wanting to give advice? Comment bellow!
(All info found curtsy of wikihow)

How to Hide From Your Parents that You Smoke -Glittr

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image

I thought i’d help you guys out a little for tricks to hide that you smoke from your parents. This is more aimed towards 17-21 age range still living with your parents and having to hide this from them. Anyways here are my tips.

1. Have a lotion or spray handy for after you’re done smoking. Make sure it’s not too strong or it will be obvious eventually. Get in the habit of wearing it regularly so not to bring up suspicion. Also make sure to rub the lotion on your fingers.

2.if you have a trouble with red eyes get some clear eye. If you wear contacts contact solution works for me pretty well.

3. Make sure all of your smoker stuff is well hidden, especially if you have nosey parents.

4.Have a jacket to wear over your clothes when smoking and try to smoke in open areas so the smell isn’t as strong. If it’s too hot for a jacket less clothes you wear the better. If you can borrow someones shirt who doesn’t care about hiding it.

5. If you can, as soon as you get the chance shower.

6. Have a person you hang with that your parents know smoke, so you can say it was that person. It’s good if that person is aware that ur the excuse. Also can say it was one of your friends parents or you were at a party around smokers. You can also use that person as a alibi if they find cigarettes or lighters. Just explain you were holding it for her/they left it in your car/ect

7.Make sure if you smoke on the patio/backyard ect to get rid of the evidence. Don’t leave cigarette butts or ashes lying around.

8. Be careful to not be seen by neighbors/friends of your,parents/ect

Ok that’s all I got feel free to comment your tips as well!
XOXO
Glittr
Ps some of this is from wikihow and some just from experience

How To Be Megan Fox Sexy

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So i’m at risk for sounding really cheesy here, but if you really wanna be sexy, you have to believe you’re sexy. Bear with me here. Think about the sexiest person you can think of (for me it’s Mila Kunis). Now think about what makes them so attractive to you. It’s the way they present themselves. They know they’re the shit. They know they look good. That’s what makes them so alluring. They all have flaws, but you overlook those flaws because all you see is their confidence.

Just take a minute to look at her. The longer you look, the more imperfections you see, but her confidence makes her.

Ok now you’re probably like “Ok, I get it, confidence is sexy, but how does that help me any?” So i’m going to try and help you out here. What I want you to do is look in a mirror. Now i want you to say everything you like  about yourself. It may take you a minute to come up with a substantial list at first so get creative. Do you have good ankles? Good shoulder support? Well say it. Try to do it once a week. Its fine to repeat stuff you already said, but try to come up with at least one new thing.  If it helps here’s my list of things I like:

-I like my legs. They’re smooth and I like that they’re thick

-My eyes. They’re pretty and blue

-My cheeks. Lol they’re defined and not chubby.

-My boobs. 🙂

-My curves. like the actual curves on my sides

-My arms.

So just give it a chance. You’d be surprised at how much it helps. Oh and every time you go out, look in the mirror and just tell yourself “Im sexy. Damn I look good”. It helps if you wear what makes you feel good.Wear that cute top that you know looks good, or those sexy new pair of heels. Once you think you look good, others will believe it too.

XOXO

Glittr