Aside Posted on Updated on
I’m just gonna apologize in advance for how scattered my thoughts are in this post. I tried to make it easy to follow, but i’m not sure i’m successful.
I rarely ever have crushes. Sure, there’s plenty of guys I find cute, but as far as a legit liking of a guy it doesn’t happen very often. I don’t think I even ever really liked the guys I went out with all that much. In all of high school I only really liked 2 guys. Since graduating I’ve liked 2, maybe 3 (im still kinda undecided).
My problem is whenever I really do like someone, I never make a move. When I actually like someone, I fear rejection so much that I would rather stay silent than take a chance. Even if they appear to like me back I simply can’t make the first move.
I guess that’s what I liked about the last guy I “talked to” (I’m still not sure what to call it). I met him at a party one night. I was at a party. After one too many drinks I kinda fell in his lap. For some reason drunk me found that as a oppurtunity to give him a lap dance and eventually start making out with him. Yes we did end up having sex that night, and twice more since. Looking back now, I don’t think it was so,much that I liked him for who he was, it was more so that I liked him because that was the first time I ever made the first move and I actually kinda enjoyed having that control.
I suppose what you can take away from this is to go for it. Stop over analyzing everything and take a chance. It may pay off.